Mama sein

Meine Krise mit dem Vollzeit Mama sein

Anmerkung: Am Ende des Artikels findet ihr ein superspannendes Video zum Thema von einer tollen Frau und Mama.

Eigentlich liebe ich es Vollzeit Mama zu sein und meine Hauptaufgabe in der Betreuung meiner Tochter zu sehen. Ich geniesse die Zeit mit meiner Tochter. Ich liebe die Verbindung, die wir in einem Jahr aufgebaut haben und ich bin alles andere als unterfordert. Ich habe mich entschieden für diesen Weg und würde es jederzeit wieder tun. Ja mehr noch, ich merke, wie ich durch das Mamasein immer mehr ich selber werde. Kinder brauchen eine feste Bezugsperson und es ist ein Privileg, dass ich das für meine Tochter als ihre Mama sein darf.

Doch hier in Italien bringt mich das Vollzeitmama sein manchmal an meine Grenzen, oder sogar in eine Krise. Letztens ist mir Folgendes passiert: Gut gelaunt sitzen meine Tochter und ich an einem sonnigen Mittwoch-Nachmittag auf einer Parkbank. Vor uns liegt das beeindruckende Panorama Turins, mit seiner gigantischen Bergwelt im Hintergrund. Ich schlürfe meinen Coffee to go und sie knabbert an ihrem Keks. Die Welt ist gut.

Von der Ferne sehe ich, wie ein etwas älteres Paar aus uns zu kommt. Sie bleiben stehen und fangen mit Grazia zu reden an. Italiener lieben Kinder und Kinder Italiener. Nach ein paar Sekunden drehen sie sich zu mir und fragen mich, wie sie heisst, wie alt sie ist und ob sie in den Krippe geht. Diese Fragen kenne ich zu gut. Sie kommen immer. Und immer in der gleichen Reihenfolge. Wie heisst sie? Wie alt ist sie? Geht sie schon ins Nido (Krippe)? Freundlich antworte ich, dass sie Grazia heisst, 13 Monate alt ist und nein – sie geht noch nicht ins Nido. (Sie kann ja noch nicht mal gehen, geschweige denn sich ausdrücken denke ich mir…) Das Paar nickt freundlich und wir konzentrieren uns weiter auf Grazia. Wie süss sie nicht ist. Und wie gut sie schon winken kann. Ja, das stimmt.

Das Paar redet weiter mit ihr. Aber habe ich das richtig gehört? Haben sie das gerade wirklich gesagt? Ich gehe die Worte noch einmal im Kopf durch und übersetze sie langsam für mich Wort für Wort ins Deutsche. Ja, sie hat wirklich zu Grazia gesagt:

“Keine Angst, bald lässt deine Mama auch dich in den Kindergarten gehen. Dann sieht du ein bisschen was und triffst andere Kinder.”

Ich werde wütend. Das Kind kann wie gesagt weder gehen noch sprechen, wieso sollte es ihr in der Kita besser gehen als bei ihrer Mama? Wieso muss ich mich als Mutter rechtfertigen, dass mein Kind mit 13 Monaten noch nicht in die Krippe geht? Wieso sollte mein Kind es in einer Einrichtung mit 10 anderen Kindern besser haben, als bei seiner Mutter? Warum ist es hier in Italien das non plus Ultra arbeiten zu gehen? Warum wird es hier mehr angesehen arbeiten zu gehen, als ein Kind groß zu ziehen? Wieso muss ich mich dafür rechtfertigen auf meine Tochter selbst aufzupassen?

Die Welt braucht Mütter

Hier in Italien wird arbeiten hoch angesehen. Verabschiedet man sich von jemandem, der gerade arbeitet wie zum Beispiel in der Bar, wünscht man nicht einen schönen Tag noch, sondern “Buon lavoro!” – eine “gute Arbeit!” Bereits im Stillkurs habe ich mitbekommen, wie nach den ersten Lebensmonaten ihres Kindes, sie andeuten, dass es bald in die Krippe gehen wird. Italienische Frauen bringen ihre Kinder morgens in den Hort und hole sie abends wieder ab (natürlich nicht alle – das ist meine subjektive Einschätzung). Einige entscheiden sich arbeiten zu gehen, weil es hier wirklich wenig Unterstützung geht. Und manche müssen. Und ich verstehe sie. Wie oft träume ich davon, mehr Zeit führ mich zu haben, meine eigenen Projekte und Ziele verfolgen zu können und mein eigenes Geld zu verdienen. Ja mehr finanzielle Freiheiten zu haben.

Ich habe nichts gegen das Arbeiten als Mutter. Ganz im Gegenteil. Ich finde wir Frauen sollten unsere Talente noch mehr für die Gesellschaft und den Aufbau des Reich Gottes einsetzen. Doch etwas in mir sträubt sich ganz gewaltig, dass dies auf Kosten meines Kindes und meines Mutterseins geschehen soll.

Lange habe ich darüber nach gedacht, was genau mich so wütend in dieser Situation gemacht hat. Ich glaube, das was mich in dieser ganzen Situation gestört hat, ist, dass ich das Gefühl hatte, dieses Paar hat den Wert des Mutterseins nicht verstanden. Und das macht mich wütend. Wütend für alle Kinder, die ohne ihre Mutter aufwachsen müssen. Wütend für Mütter, denen eingeredet wird, dass Arbeiten wichtiger sei als ihre Kinder. Wütend auf unsere Gesellschaft, in der wir nicht sein dürfen, wenn wir nicht sichtbar produktiv sind.

Mein grösster Traum war es nie, Mutter zu werden. Doch jetzt bin ich es und ich bin glücklich. Ich merke, was für eine Kraft in einer Mutter steckt. Wie unersetzlich eine Mutter ist und wie mein Herz von Anfang an schon zum Muttersein gemacht wurde. Das Mamasein hat mich mehr zu mir selbst geführt, als jedes Studium, jeder Kurs und jede Auseinandersetzung mit meinen Zielen und Visionen. Ich spüre, wie durch mein aufmerksames Auge unser Haus zu einem Zuhause wird und Zärtlichkeit in unsere Wohnung einzieht. Jeden Tag erkenne ich mehr, was es bedeutet Mutter zu sein und was das Mutter sein für eine große Bedeutung hat.

Inka Hammond schreibt in ihrem Buch “Tochter Gottes, erhebe dich!”*: “Wir brauchen Mütter. Dingend. Mütterliche Herzen. Frauen, die sich mütterlich sorgen. … Debora (die Mutter Israels) war kein graues Mäuschen, das lediglich Ordnung zu Hause hielt und die Kinder großzog. Offensichtlich ist eine Mutter von biblischem Verständnis her, eine starke, mutige Frau, die kein Problem damit hat, eine ganze Armee anzuleiten und in den Krieg zu ziehen… Doch die Kraft der Mütterlichkeit ist nicht zu unterschätzen. Mütter verändern die Welt.”

Letztens bin ich über folgendes Zitat gestoßen: “Eine Generation, die zunehmend in den besten Lebensjahren mit Burnout zu kämpfen hat, entwirft für ihre eigenen Kinder einen Lebensweg mit noch mehr Tempo, noch mehr Leistung, noch mehr “Förderung”. Sie funktioniert Kindergärten zu Schulen um, weil sie glaub, Kinder, die früh Mathe lernen, seien schneller am Ziel. Moment einmal – an welchem Ziel?”

Und so erkenne ich an mir selbst und die Worte von “älteren” Müttern, was für eine Kraft im Mamasein liegt. Und ich will diese Rolle einnehmen. Für mich. Für meine Familie. Für unsere Gesellschaft. Für Gott. Egal, wie oft ich noch komisch auf der Strasse angeschaut werde und mich rechtfertigen muss.

Unendlich dankbar bin ich Gott, der mir in diesen Momenten, in denen ich mit meinem Vollzeit Mamasein hadere, Frauen zur Seite stellt, die den Lauf schon gelaufen sind und mich von der Seite anfeuern. Mich ermutigen und mir Mut zusprechen. Mir das zusprechen, das ich tief in meinem Inneren erkenne – den Wert meines Mamaseins. Frauen, wie Maria Schober. Die ich an einem sonnigen Tag in Mailand kennenlerne und deren Geschichte mich umhaut (mehr dazu im Video unten). Die ihre schönen und schmerzhaften Erfahrungen an Mütter wie mich weiter geben und mich immer wieder liebevoll daran erinnern, warum ich mich entschieden habe und jeden Tag wieder entscheide, meine Zeit und Aufmerksamkeit Vollzeit meiner Tochter zu widmen.

Die Vision vor Augen

In den letzten Wochen habe ich mich mit folgender Frage auseinander gesetzt. Die Antwort hat mir neuen Mut, neues Selbstbewusstsein und eine neue Freude an meinem Mamasein gegeben.

Was ist meine Vision für meine Familie?

Bill Johnson Schreibt in seinem Buch “Racing giant Killers”* dass wir als Eltern genau wissen müssen, an was wir mit unserer Familie und unseren Kindern bauen, damit wir bewusst unser Familienleben und den Output gestalten können. Wir bauen nicht nur an einer Familie auf, sondern auch individuelle Persönlichkeiten und “legacies” – unser Erbe.

Ja, ich will in meiner Familie ein starkes Erbe bauen! 

Ich will mir meinem Einfluss und meinem Vorbild als Mutter bewusst sein und Stück für Stück Legacies bauen.

Ich möchte, dass meine Tochter und alle eventuell folgenden Kinder starke Persönlichkeiten werden, die ihre Talente mutig einsetzen und ihre Stimmen erheben. Die selbstbewusst ihren Platz in dieser Welt einnehmen und sie verändern. Die Gott als den guten Vater kennen und genau wissen, wo ihre Zuflucht, ihre Kraft und ihr Kämpfergeist her kommt. Die ihr späteres Leben nicht auf einer Couch bearbeiten müssen, sondern fähig sind, die Liebe, die sie bekommen haben weiter zu geben.

Aber heisst das, dass mein Bild so aufgehen muss, wie ich mir das jetzt vorstelle? Werden unsere Kinder einmal so wie ich mir das wünsche, nur weil ich meine Hauptaufgabe im Mamasein sehe? Bill Johnson* schreibt weiter, dass Kinder, die in ihrem Zuhause in der konkreten Liebe der Eltern zueinander und zu Ihnen, es zwar trotzdem sein kann, dass sie „falsche“ Wege einschlagen. Doch haben sie echte Liebe und Leben in ihrem Elternhaus erlebt, werden sie immer wieder zurück kommen, weil der Geschmack von Leben sie immer wieder zurück ziehen wird. Weil wir alle angezogen sind von echtem Leben.

Und so habe ich meinen Fokus nicht nur auf meinen Wünschen, Träumen und Zielen, dann erkenne ich auch im Alltag, an was für einem großartigen Schloss ich hier im Kleinen baue.

Mamasein – the ultimate career?

C.S. Lewis geht auch ziemlich weit, indem er sagt:

„The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only – and that is to support the ultimate career.“

Was, wenn wir Mamas wirklich die ultimative Karriere leben? Was, wenn in unser Mamasein viel bedeutender ist, als wir es denken und als uns die Gesellschaft einreden will? 

Let´s rock it, moms! Lasst uns unsere Rolle einnehmen, ohne Jesus und uns selbst zu verlieren. Lass uns anderen dienen, dass es weh tut, denn das ist das, was die Welt braucht. Liebe größer als jeder Egoismus. Liebe ohne Grenzen. Bedingungslos, wie damals am Kreuz.

Da dieses Thema sehr emotional ist, freue ich mich auch in den Kommentaren über deine Erfahrungen mehr zu erfahren. Dieser Text ist sehr subjektiv, wie ich meine Situation wahr nehme. Es liegt mir fern, irgendwen dadurch zu ver- geschweige denn beurteilen.

Gerne kannst du auch meinen Newsletter abonnieren.

Bis bald,

deine

 

Maria Schober von BriefeanLeonie.net über das Mamasein

Maria ist übrigens auch sonst eine echt beeindruckende Frau. Sie hat mit 50 ihre Matura (Abi) gemacht, zwei Studiengänge absolviert und einen Blog für Frauen gestartet, in dem sie superspannende Themen zum Frausein behandelt. Als ich sie vor ein paar Wochen in Mailand zum ersten Mal persönlich kennenlernte, hat mich vor allem ihre Großzügigkeit und ihr anpackendes Wesen echt beeindruckt. Das ist eine Powerfrau, die die Welt braucht. Schaut gern vorbei bei www.briefeanleonie.net.

Was ist deine Version für deine Familie? Hast du vor Augen was du als Mama gerade aufbaust?

*Affiliate Links / unbezahlte Werbung

10. April 2019
409

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    Liebe Christina, wieder wunderbare Gedanken und den wirklich schönern lehrreichen Text. Ich freue mich so, Dich zu kennen, denn sich mit anderen Frauen für das Reich Gottes, für Jesus und für unserer Lieben einzusetzten, ist erstens viel einfacher und zweitens viel, viel lustiger. Lass uns gemeinsam, unsere Ideen zum Wachsen bringen! Einen wunderbaren Feiertag und Gottes reichen Segen für eure tolle Familie! Alles Liebe deine Maria

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