Es gibt diese Tage. Tage, an denen irgendwie alles schief zu gehen scheint. Morgens verschläft man den Wecker, um dann ohne Kaffee völlig in Verzug in den Tag zu starten. Auf Insta strahlen einen irgendwelche Leute entgegen, während man selbst halb verschlafen und ohne Make-up das Haus verlassen musste oder als Mama um 11 immer noch im Schlafanzug ist. Das Lernen für Prüfungen scheint endlos oder die Nachbarn haben schon wieder etwas auszusetzen. Selbstliebe? Was ist das?
Spätestens zu Mittag kommen die ersten Gedanken auf: “Was hast du eigentlich heute schon geschafft? Wieso hast du nicht…?” Als dann Nachmittags die Freundin voller Freude anruft, dass sie einen wunderbaren neuen Job oder Freund hat und wir mit übertriebener Freude antworten: “oh ich freu mich so mit dir!”, sind wir angekommen mitten im Loch des Selbstmitleids. Gerade als Mama, wenn der Alltag immer gleich und die Erfolgsschritte recht gering zu sein scheinen, fällt es mir schwer mit der Selbstliebe.
Was kann ich eigentlich?
Was ist an mir besonders? Wann hatte ich das letzte Mal Erfolg? Wird DAS jemals was? Vor allem WIE soll das alles jemals was werden? Was dieses DAS ist, wissen wir in diesem Moment auch nicht so recht. Vielleicht haben wir dann noch unsere Schwächen vor Augen und schon befinden wir uns im Loch der Selbstanklage und des sich-selbst nieder machens.
Heute Morgen habe ich in der Bibel gelesen:
Wie der Bräutigam sich über seine Braut freut, so freut sich dein Gott über dich.
Das mag ja sein, dass ein Bräutigam sich über seine Braut freut, aber bei mir gibt es Tage, an denen ich mich bei Weitem nicht über mich selbst freuen kann. An diesen Tagen bin ich gereizt, meist übernächtigt, unsicher, in Gedanken versunken und bedrückt. Vielleicht habe ich noch etwas getan, das ich wirklich bereue oder ich vergleiche mich mit Anderen. Sofort bin ich gefangen in einer Spirale von Gedanken, die mich immer mehr herunter ziehen und mir die Freude und den Frieden rauben wollen an dem was ich habe und bin. Lasse ich diese Gedanken zu lange zu, gehen sie mir sogar richtig nahe und vernebeln mir den Blick auf die Realität. Von Selbstliebe keine Spur mehr.
Auch lesen wir in Psalm 23,5:
Du bereitest mir den Tisch vor dem Angesicht meiner Feinde.
Gott gibt uns alles und viel mehr, als was wir brauchen.
Wenn wir ihn bitten unseren Tisch zu decken, weil er uns zu spärlich erscheint, dann wird er es tun. Wenn wir ihn fragen, was er über uns denkt. Wenn wir ihn bitten, dass er uns zeigt, was unsere Stärken und schönen Seiten sind, dann deckt er uns den Tisch. Vor unseren Feinden. Vor unseren negativen Gedanken über uns selbst. Unserer Selbstanklage und unseren überhohen Erwartungen an uns selbst. Dann zeigt er uns unsere wahre Identität und wer wir wirklich sind.
Er deckt uns den Tisch, indem wir unsere Stärken und Schwächen, so wie sie wirklich sind, vor uns sehen, sie annehmen und lieben lernen. Indem wir nichts verstecken, schön reden oder perfektionieren, sondern uns frei, geliebt und akzeptiert wissen. Mit dem echten Blick auf uns selbst bekommen wir neue Hoffnung und erahnen, wie sich der Bräutigam über uns freut, trotz oder gerade mit all unseren Schwächen.
Unsere Aufgabe ist es dann aufzupassen, dass diese Feinde nicht wieder kommen und von unserem Tisch essen. Dass die negativen Gedanken und dunklen Gedanken nicht überhand nehmen und uns wieder in ihren Sog ziehen wollen.
Ich möchte dir ein paar Tipps für die Momente mitgeben, in denen du eine gute Portion Selbstliebe statt Selbstanklage brauchst:1
1. “Das ist so und das darf jetzt auch mal so sein.”
Dieser Satz wurde uns in unserer Ehevorbereitung förmlich eingetrichtert und wir haben ihn seither nicht mehr vergessen. Oft holen wir ihn in den den verzwicktesten Situationen wieder hervor. So wie es gerade ist, ist es ok. Das darf jetzt auch einmal sein. Ich finde, es entspannt total. Dann muss ich für einen Moment keinem Ideal, keiner Vorstellung von mir selber und keinen Ansprüchen gerecht werden, sondern darf so sein wie ich gerade bin. Mit all dem, was in mir umher schwirrt. Selbstliebe beginnt mit Akzeptanz.
2. Runter vom Gas
Erst wenn ich mich selbst nicht mehr antreibe und zu “schneller, besser, größer” peitsche, sondern durchatme, bekommen auch meine Gedanken wieder Luft zum atmen. Dann hat mein Kopf wieder Luft die Situation zu sehen wie sie wirklich ist, ohne sich nur auf das Negative zu fokussieren. Eventuell hilft es auch die Situation kurz zu verlassen, hinaus zu gehen sich selbst zu animieren, ein paar Gänge herunter zu schalten.
3. Was ist wirklich mein Problem?
Wenn ich mir einen Moment Zeit nehme, um mir zu überlegen, was wirklich mein Problem in diesem Moment ist und was der Auslöser dazu ist, wird mir bewusst, dass das Problem gar nicht so dramatisch ist, wie es scheint. Dann sehe ich, dass ich mich vielleicht zu viel verglichen habe mit Menschen, die ein ganz anderes Leben leben als ich. Dass ich mich unrund fühle, weil andere eine Entscheidung über mich treffen, weil ich keine getroffen habe, oder dass ich mit einer Person im Unfrieden bin und eigentlich eine Aussprache oder Verzeihen ansteht.
4. Bitte Gott dir zu zeigen, dir die Wahrheit zu zeigen.
Wenn wir Gott ernst nehmen, nimmt auch er uns ernst. Du kannst ihn bitten dir zu zeigen, was er über dich oder die Situation denkt. Oft kommen seine Antworten nicht prompt, aber wenn sie kommen, dann sind sie kraftvoller als jedes aufbauende Wort oder jedes Wellnesswochenende. Wenn Gott sein Wort über dich spricht, dann erfüllt es dich und du bekommst neue Kraft und Flügel wie Adler. Deswegen verpasse es nicht, ihn darum zu bitten. Er schenkt dir eine echte und nicht übertrieben Selbstliebe.
5. Was brauche ich?
Indem ich mich selber erst nehme und versuche es gut mit mir selbst zu meinen, wendet sich das Blatt. Meine Mama sagte früher immer ich solle mir selbst die beste Freundin sein. Sobald ich mich bemühe, gut über mich zu denken und mir das zu gönnen, was ich brauche, hat vor allem das kleine Männchen in meinem Kopf, das mir immer einreden möchte wie schlecht ich bin, keine Daseinsberechtigung mehr.
6. Um Hilfe bitten
Vielleicht brauchst du nun ein Gespräch, eine Umarmung oder einen Abend mit Wein und deinen Mädels. Scheue dich nicht um Hilfe zu bitten und diese anzunehmen. Oft braucht es viel Überwindung jemanden um etwas zu fragen, im Nachhinein hat es sich meistens aber immer gelohnt.
Ich wünsche dir viel Geduld beim Lernen von Selbstliebe in den Momenten, in denen sie schwer fällt. Wenn wir lernen uns und unser Leben zu umarmen, werden wir fähig, das Beste für uns und unsere Mitmenschen daraus zu machen. Dann nutzen wir den Tag und verschwenden unsere Energie und Zeit nicht mehr mit unnötiger Selbstanklage und negativen Gedanken.
Alles Liebe,
128 Comments
Larissa
29. November 2022 at 21:42Danke für deine Worte.. Passen sehr zu meinem heutigen Tag als Mami von zwei kleinen Kindern zwischen Wäsche, kochen und aufräumen…
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